Hi there! If you’ve clicked this link, it’s because you want to try and grab my trusty PS Vita, for the lowest price possible. Good luck, because I’m certain that you’re going to have some competition today. This is a wifi model PS Vita, which is more than sufficient for gaming on the go.
Trust me, I’ve had a coffee or two using the free wifi of a local coffee shop, and people were completely jealous of my mad skills on the device. Here’s what else you’ll get, should you win the auction:
The PS Vita console
Look at it. Not a single scratch on the surface of this handheld device. Not a single greasy thumbprint or a speck of dust. It’s got a screen bright enough to attract moths when you lay in bed playing a game on it, and the analogue sticks are tighter than your household budget after the festive season.
The buttons are solid, made of a new space-age material called plastic and are also scratch-free.
The Box
I won’t lie to you. Unless it’s tiny, your cat won’t fit in this box. But the PS Vita console and it’s numerous accessories will. Made out of biodegradable cardboard, you can rest assured that you’ll leave a much smaller carbon footprint on the planet, thanks to this ecologically friendly packaging.
Manuals
Do you really have time to read all these instructions in English? Or Dutch? Or French? Maybe not, but you can’t take that chance either, can you?
Wrist-strap
I don’t know about you, but I’ve played way too many games, got into the spirit of the action in front of me and have lost my grip on a handheld console, fatally wounding a passerby. While the money from this sale may or may not go towards a court case where I’m being sued for being so oblivious to the personal space of others, I’ve included the original wrist strap so that we don’t have to share a trial.
8 Gigabyte Memory Card
You might need several gigglebytes to save your games and download a few new ones. And why pay extra at a local shop for a specialised memory card, when you can get one included in this auction? Fight the middle man yo!
Pouch
Go on. Keep your new Joey safe and sound in a protective pouch.
Screen Protector
I’ve already applied it for you, to the PS Vita. Because I’m such a nice guy.
Final Fantasy X and X-2 HD
I remember when I first saw Final Fantasy X. It had video game characters. Talking. And I was like “Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?”. Now you can relive that magic, but on the go. Which is like double-magic.
Mortal Kombat
Trust me, nothing clears a line quicker than some guy hearing the sound effects of a spine being ripped out behind him. That, and Mortal Kombat on the Vita is still one of the greatest fighting games ever made.
Payment to be made within four working days after successful auction.
