Brutha is a simple lad. He can't read. He can't write. He's pretty good at growing melons. And his wants are few.

He wants to overthrow a huge and corrupt church. He wants to prevent a horribly holy war. He wants to stop the persecution of a philosopher who has dared to suggest that, contrary to the Church's dogma, the Discworld really does go through space on the back of an enormous turtle. (Which is true, but when has that ever mattered?) He wants peace and justice and brotherly love. He wants the Inquisition to stop torturing him now, please.

But most of all, what he really wants, more than anything else, is for his god to choose someone else...