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Competition Time The 'All Priests Look-a-like Competition' has come around again and Henry Sellers, host of the almost popular 'Morning Quiz', is coming to judge it. Ted is determined that this year he will defeat his fellow priests from Rugged Island. Ted has a plan and Henry Sellers has an unfortunate sip of sherry.
Cigarettes & Alcohol & Rollerblading With Easter fast approaching, Father Dick Byrne suggests that he and Ted call a truce and get on with the important business of giving up something for Lent. Ted gives up cigarettes, Jack gives up drink and Dougal gives up Rollerblading.
A Song For Europe Inspired by Dougal's enthusiasm, and driven on by his rivalry with Father Dick Byrne, Ted decides to enter the 1996 Eurosong Contest. To this end, he and Dougal 'borrow' a tune from an old Eurosong hopeful and enter it as their own. With inspired lyrics, a jaunty tune and the right attitude, they stand a good chance. But fate has one more card to deal.
Speed 3 Mrs. Doyle is transformed into a giggling girl whenever the new milkman, Pat Mustard, pays a visit to the Parochial House. The transformation does not go undetected by Ted who can barely disguise his dislike of Pat's over sexuality.
The Mainland A trip to the mainland always leads to trouble, and Ted is deeply nervous at the prospect. What can possibly go wrong? Well, quite a lot. Ted's misgivings are justified as he has to bail Mrs. Doyle, Mrs Dineen and Father Jack out of prison.
A Christmassy Ted All Father Ted wants is a "nice quiet Christmas with no unusual incidents or strange people turning up." Could that ever be imaginable amidst the pandemonium of Parochial House? Why does Father Ted's prayer not come true? The Christmas special will reveal all...