Too Many Tsunamis

Life's a drag, and nobody knows that better than Bert. Bert wants to write. He also wants to kill himself. He has composed a brilliant suicide note, but so far his attempt at a brilliant suicide is as devoid of success as his writing career. Not wanting to die wondering if his mother will fully comprehend his note, Bert sets out to explain himself in a footnote. A footnote that keeps growing and growing like a monster wave.

Bert carries on living, for now, recounting his string of doomed relationships, and bemoaning his dead-end job in a printing shop, and the fact that he's 34 and still living with his mother.

But into the shop walks the mysterious Lelani Balt Lightning Bolt and sparks begin to fly. Bert might finally have something to write about.